TOC #43: Burnout.
(October 26, 2021) My advice to you:
What do cranky, sick toddlers and pesky, painful infected molars have in common?
Well, for starters, they've both unexpectedly hijacked the productive week I had planned for myself.
And they've both made me cry.
And they've both inspired me to skip today's table of contents and replace it with a bit of advice for my fellow perfectionist freelancers who may be struggling to manage keeping up with that all that *productiveness* on your own.
(Buckle up, because we're getting #emo with this one.)
I would definitely classify myself as a bit of a workaholic. I've mellowed out over the last few months as I've been navigating what it means to find a true balance between all of my responsibilities, but that Capricorn sun and moon and Enneagram 3 result still shine through in my day-to-day.
I'm driven to a fault, and in the past have definitely been guilty of choosing my bank account over my sanity.
And two spurts of serious burnout over the last 8 months made me realize that I need to do everything in my power to choose sanity every time that decision presents itself.
After years of feeling like I was doomed to boring (and toxic, in my experience) office culture for life, building a successful freelance career felt like—still feels like—a dream come true, which is why I often put my work first - I never want to do anything to jeopardize this life I've created for myself and my family or the business that makes it all possible.
But being self-employed comes with some not-so-glamorous parts that people… well, sometimes talk about, sure, but usually just glaze over.
Everyone publishes the sappy Instagram caption about how they overcame burnout, and how important it is to take breaks, and how you're going to fall out of love with your craft if you work yourself to the bone.
And don't get me wrong, I'm so glad to see posts like that, because they make freelancers feel less alone, and they open up the floor for conversations about making mental health a priority in the freelance space.
However, no one really talks about what it's like to work for yourself, and then fall behind. Or need time off. Or feel like you're in too deep.
Like… I don't even have health insurance.
(I almost just backspaced that sentence, because my inner critic just screamed, at the top of her damn lungs, “don't tell the people that, they're going to think you're not qualified or capable or smart!” — even though my copywriting skills have quite literally nothing to do with the fact that the state of Massachusetts makes it mother-F-ing hard to get health insurance as a self-employed person.)
People love to paint the picture of the perfect ~flexible~ lifestyle that comes with working freelance, and that's definitely a true picture - I can come and go as I please, and work whenever I want to, as long as things get done - but I have a habit of inadvertently romanticizing everything in my life (it's the writer in me, I guess) and I don't want to put a romantic spin on this current stage of my life.
Working for yourself can be so overwhelming. You're in charge, and it's on you when things fall out of line. There's no PTO, there's no sick leave, there's no one to cover your shift, there's no one to pick up your slack, and there's definitely no one to take the blame for you. It's all on you.
And, sure, there are VAs, and systems in place, and emergency funds, and your clients are understanding, but when life happens and your weeks (or months) don't go as planned, it can be extremely draining, especially when you're someone who thrives with a solid plan (and crumbles without one).
So, here's my advice to you, if you're a perfectionist, and a planner, and an “omg I have so much to do”er, and a bank-account-before-sanity person:
Remember that you're a human first, and your business must always come second. If you don't take care of yourself (and the tiny humans that depend on you, or big humans that depend on you), you cannot run a successful business.
You can't pour from an empty cup.
Money is a boomerang. It comes and goes. You won't lose all of your clients, or your income, or your leads, or your success, if you take time off.
Clients are humans. In my case, thank the Lord, they're extremely lovely, understanding, kind humans, who don't mind if you have to push a deadline by a week if you have a sick toddler and an F'd up relationship with your dentist. (Long, traumatizing story.)
The world will not come crashing down if you take a break.
The world will not come crashing down if you ask for help.
The world will definitely not come crashing down if you spend an extra month working on the launch of your new project.
To some, this may seem like obvious advice. And to perfectionist-planners, this may seem impossible. Let me explain.
I'm a “but I wrote it in pen!” type of person.
Whenever my best friend Hannah and I make plans, we always say ‘okay, I’m writing it in pen' to agree on the permanence of the plan. We're both equally obsessed with plans and our planners, and when we write something down in pen, we hate crossing it out.
Now, I don't know if Hannah hates when pen-plans get canceled for the same reasons that I do. Maybe she just hates the way it looks to cross out something in pen in your planner (the worst!), or maybe she feels the same way as me:
Panicked. Stressed. Unnerved.
“But I wrote it in pen!” translates to “but I planned for this to be something permanent, I made time for it, I made mental space for it, it was important, I was looking forward to it, this was supposed to happen and it isn't going to happen, and what do I do now?!”
Whenever plans change—especially if they're work-related, especially if it's an event in my own life that caused me to tell the person that's paying me that I have to change our plans—I get a little stomachache.
And I'm telling you this just in case you get those same stomachaches.
Because I want you to know that you're not alone. And that everything will be fine. And that you'll still be able to run a successful business that supports you and your family. And your clients, if they're anything like mine, will still love you.
Take the time you need.
It may feel like you're expected to run yourself into the ground to maintain what you've created, but in reality, that's just the fastest way to undo all of your hard work.
Remember that empty cup I mentioned? Yeah, you don't want to be her.
If you made it all the way to the end of today's nontraditional TOC, thank you for sticking with me. Now here's the tea you probably want:
My toddler is fine now, just a cough and a gross little sneeze.
I have very severe dental anxiety, so finding out that I needed a root canal and a crown (!!!) was the ultimate spooky season spook. Three dental procedures? Absolutely F-ing not. I'm getting that shit pulled ASAP rocky.
I've had to push a couple client due dates back because of my unexpected unlucky personal events, and not a single person cared - all of them were extremely kind, and I feel so lucky to work with such great people.
Yes, I am still (somehow) mentally stable, despite this very deep, emo newsletter, so no need to worry about me. (Choosing sanity, remember?!)
If you've visited my site lately and wondered why it's “under construction” it's because I'm thiiiis close to launching a new one, but have a few digital products to finalize before I'm ready to set her live. (All credit to my work BFF Sarah Kleist.)
I hope you have a great week, and I can't wait to chat next Tuesday—I'll be back with the TOC's usual, and she'll be outfitted with a brand new logo of her own.
All my best to my besties,
Sara
Hi, I’m Sara Noel—website copywriter and marketing mentor for creatives, copywriters, and all-around cool people. Thanks for reading this edition of the Tuesday Table of Contents! If you like my content and you want even more BTL in your life, here are a few ways you can connect with me:
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xo, Sara