TOC #239: I'm either getting arrested, or I'm getting punk'd
(July 22, 2025) SARA'S SUMMER OFF: my bizarre run-in with the law, how I'm updating my email funnels, the Google + Goal headline formula, and the best way to DIY your web copy
Let me just start off by saying: I don't condone the actions depicted in the following story.
This is one of those “do as I say, not as I do" situations.
It's not safe to drive too fast.
But I am, at my core, a Masshole, which means I am genetically predisposed to yelling profanities, honking too long, flipping people off, and, of course, speeding.
(Some people argue that Massholes are horrible drivers… I don't know what those people are talking about. Like, have you ever been to Connecticut? I'm practically a professional driver in comparison.)
(I would also like to take this time to publicly state that I'm an impressive parallel parker and I don't ever hit curbs.)
Okay, now that that's out of the way — I can tell you what happened to me on Thursday afternoon.
I had a 4-and-some-change-hour drive up to Lake Champlain for my good friend Alli's bachelorette weekend, and I was eager to get there.
After 2 full hours of listening to Huda explain her Love Island lore, I was starting to get antsy in the car.
…and when I get antsy in the car, I tend to not pay as much attention to the lead in my foot.
Now, before we go any further, there's something else you need to know about Massholes:
We have excellent cop radar.
I can spot those fuckers from miles away, expertly avoiding their boner for speeding infractions every time.
On this particular drive, though, I was a little too into my private audition for Paramore's back-up singer to catch that stupid Ford Explorer out of the corner of my eye in time.
So, I did what any speeding idiot would do, and slammed on my brakes, quickly shifting into the right lane.
I might has well have screamed out my window “I'M SPEEDING, COME AND GET ME OFFICER!” — because my not-so-subtle slow-down had the same effect.
That mofo turned out of his lil hiding spot so quick. 🙄
I pulled over, pulled out my license, and started thinking of my excuse. I'm not new to this particular interaction, unfortch.
Then, I noticed two people get out of the car. One young girl (I'm scared of her — she has something to prove), one older-than-me-but-not-quite-middle-aged man (not scared of him, men are weak).
Sick.
Both officers approached my car, stopping to look through my trunk and backseat windows, because who knows? Maybe the little girl in the Telluride actually IS a drug dealer!
I rolled down my window, expecting a simple “license and registration.”
Instead, I was met with the dreaded “do you know why we pulled you over today?”
(No, officers! I have absolutely no idea! I am a perfect, safe driver!)
I feigned ignorance and innocence, obviously, and the male officer responded with:
“We clocked you going 85 in a 65. Not that bad! Not that big of a deal!”
…I'm sorry, what?
20 miles over the speed limit — which was what he clocked me at likely after slowing down — wasn't… a big… deal?
FUCK YEAH BROTHER! Who am I to argue with a man of the law?! Not a big deal, indeed.
I was ready to go on my merry way!
…and then he asked me to step out of the vehicle.
I beg your finest pardon?? STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE???
Naturally, I ask if that's standard New York procedure, and Officer Detective Whatever The Fuck hits me with “no, this is my standard in all of my investigations.”
INVESTIGATIONS???
What on God's green Earth am I being investigated for if you just told me my crime is ‘not that bad’ and ‘not a big deal’?!
So, I get out of the car.
This man proceeds to ask me every possible question short of what I had for breakfast that morning.
What's your full name? When's your birthday? What's your address? Where are you going? Is this your car? Did you buy it new? When did you get it? Why are you going to Westport? What's your friend's name? How long have you known Alli Moore? Why is she there? How long are you staying?
I'm sorry, sir, are you suddenly my handler? For what purpose do you need to know every single thing about me?
This mofo was tryna trip me up — asking his lil questions all out of order, rapid-fire speed, hoping to catch me in… I'm not sure what, actually. But he was tryna catch me in something.
But what he didn't know is that he pulled over a yapper.
You want to ask me about my whole entire life? Pull up a chair sweetheart! I've got all day.
I proceeded to tell that man about my entire friendship timeline with Alli, all of our plans for the weekend, why her parents bought the Westport house, who's gonna be there, why Alli chose to marry Tom…
You wanted an interview? You got an interview baby.
After I tired this man right out of his line of questioning, he instructed me to go back to my car while he processed my documents.
Not even two minutes later, Officer Chatterbox and his sidekick Girly Pop Cop came back, and granted me with a… drum roll pls…
✨ WARNING! ✨
Homeboy told me “have so much fun with Alli this weekend, just don't drive so fast to get there!”
…oh? Okay!
Not a single second in that interaction did I know where my fate was headed, but I'll recognize my privilege and take it? I guess?
Moral of the story: being a yapper benefits you in more situations than one.
Own it.
And maybe drive a little slower.
BEACH CHAIR FRIENDLY BACK-END TASK
This week, I'll be working on funnels from my beach chair!
I'm gonna go through all of my lead magnets, determine which ones stay + which ones should go (based on how aligned they are with my current offers / whether or not they are performing well), then mapping out what should go with each freebie's email sequence.
Ex: my welcome sequence freebie will upsell into my $29 newsletter content planner product, and mention my email marketing course.
I'll be doing this just in a note on my phone — and maybe I'll send myself some audio messages on Slack, which is where / how I organize my thoughts — then when I get back to my computer I'll organize my thoughts + start implementing.
SOARING THROUGH THE SLOW SEASON
If you're feeling like this season is particularly “slow” but you've done everything you can to sell or spark more inquiries, try focusing on building your connections!
One of the easiest ways to do this is to write a blog post highlighting people in your industry, and reaching out to people to ask if you can feature them. Who wouldn't appreciate that?!
It's not a guarantee, obviously, that these people will then turn into a referral network for you, but it IS a great opportunity to foster a new potential relationship — aka an excuse to reach out to someone you've been admiring or wanting to connect with — especially if you've been feelin awkward about how to reach out.
Here's an example from a post I wrote about people I work with often, and here's an example from a student of mine who wrote a post about website copywriters to work with (she paired it with some great educational value as well).
UNDER THE COPYWRITING UMBRELLA
Use the “Google + Goal” formula for headline writing.
Take the phrase your dream client might type into Google, and pair it with the result they actually want.
Why it works: This combo taps into how people actually search (hello, SEO!) while making the value crystal clear. It stops the scroll and ranks in search — which means more clicks and more clients.
Here are some examples…
“Toddler won’t sleep?” → Here’s how to end the 3 a.m. screamfest — without sleep training.
“DIY website copy tips” → Write a homepage that actually gets you inquiries.
“How To Navigate Baby Starting Solids” → Everything you need to go from first bites to full meals (without the stress).
“How To Price Your Services” → A simple formula to stop undercharging (and start getting yeses).
“Easy Instagram Content Ideas” → 3 content prompts to post today — even if your brain feels blank.
Try taking one of your existing blog, website, or sales page headlines and reworking it using this formula — it’s one of the fastest ways to boost both clarity and conversion.
SHELLING OUT A CUTIE SUMMER DISCOUNT CODE
I have been in SUCHHH a productive work mode this week — likely because Woo is in full-day camp all five days this week, bless my soul — and I've been having the best time working from my fave coffee shop, diving into the back-end of BTL, and writing my own website copy.
& while I was working through my own website copy draft, I referenced my Wicked Easy Web Copy Guide and was reminded of just how juicyyyy and helpful it is!
So, I decided to reward anyone else working on their own internal stuff this summer, too, with a cutie lil discount code on some of my most impactful resources 🩵
You can use code “SUMMEROFF” for $30 off of the following…
→ Won't Sell Itself Sales Page x Sales Email Workshop — learn how to write the best sales pages and sales emails EVER so you can sell anything!
→ Newsletter Strategy Workshop — plan 52 newsletter ideas in under an hour!
→ Site Series® SPRINT — the most comprehensive, easy-to-understand website copy course on the Internet, that breaks down every step of DIYing your web copy step by step!
→ Wicked Easy Web Copy Guide — essentially the mini version of that^ course
→ The Email Marketing Chapter — learn how to get more subscribers on your list and how to keep them there! this course has lessons on lead magnets, opt in copy, welcome sequences, newsletter strategy, and newsletter storytelling!
Happy learning!!!
THE LOVE-YOU-BYE LOVE NOTE
As aforementioned, I am SO0O0O0O SO SO SO SO lit up by all the things I'm working on BTS at BTL, and I can't wait to show you them all.
Here's a sneak preview of what's coming…
New website copy + website design coming Fall 2025
A complete updated portfolio with in-depth case studies
Revamped website copy template (all purchasers of the current one will be given access to the new one this Fall!)
The biggest SPRINT launch EVER to date
Implementing meta ads
Adding two new lead magnets to the mix
Launching an About Page mini course (join the waitlist here!)
Enrolling the next cohort of Success Story
Creating new print materials for my client 'thank-you's
Launching the Millionaire Moment podcast (yes, you read that right…)
Actually posting on my Point of the Story podcast Instagram account
& believe it or not, there's more! But I have to keep SOME things secret… 👀
LOVE YOU BYE!
—S
P.S. If you're hoping for Website Girl to write your copy for you before the end of this year, make sure you reach out to me NOW before all of my spots fill up! Here's all of the info you need, including pricing xoxo
If we haven’t had the chance to *virtually* meet yet, hi! I’m Sara Noel—website copywriter and marketing mentor for creatives, copywriters, and all-around cool people. If you like my content and you want even more BTL in your life, here are a few ways you can connect with me:
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