TOC #160: No subject line could do this story justice
(January 16, 2024) How to market your weekly newsletter online
I couldn't even make this shit up if I tried.
All week, I've been looking forward to sitting down and finally telling you the story of one of the most hilariously random dates I've ever been on in my life, because I cannot BELIEVE I've never told you this before.
And my tennis coach is actually the one who reminded me of that fact.
The other day, I was trailing behind a very excited Woo on his way to his Tiny Tennis class, when I ran into my own tennis coach, who I haven't seen in… months… 👀 because I haven't played in… months 🥲
Of course, we jumped into the usual “where you been?” and “been busy!” convo, and right in the middle of my “I've been so caught up with work” speech, he goes:
“Yeah, I know, I've seen your Instagram stories. So, you gonna finally tell me who Pickleball Dude is, or are you gonna make me subscribe to your newsletter to find out?”
First of all, Ayman, NO, I'm never telling you about Pickleball Dude, because I'm embarrassed and I think you're gonna judge me.
Second of all, thank you for reminding me that I've never told my subscribers about the time that I played pickleball on a first date and, 2 hours later, ended up in the man's bedroom holding a smoothie he made me as he played Adele on the piano and sang to me.
(Important note about me that I shockingly have never mentioned to you: I hate being sung to, always have, it's been an ick of mine since before “ick” was even a word we used.)
You see, I'm pretty chill with my tennis coach, so back in September, when I matched with this man — let's call him Pickle — on Hinge and he asked me to play tennis together, I texted him for advice.
“How the hell do I get this man to understand that I'm not good enough to play tennis with him?” I pleaded. “He played fucking college tennis and I just started playing last year. That's not fun for anyone.”
“Why don't you guys just play pickleball?” he asked. “You can play singles and there's a court in Shrewsbury.”
(And this is where I went wrong.)
“Oh wait, that's so funny, he just said he knows you!” I responded, instantly regretting it.
Why did I say that? I actually don't want to tell Ayman about this man at all, for so many reasons. What if they're friends? What if they have beef? What if Pickle is actually weird?
(Moments like those are times I really wish I knew how to shut my damn mouth.)
TL;DR - I texted Pickle back and suggested swapping tennis for pickleball, and he agreed, and asked if I'd played before / where I played, so I told him where, and he said that he knew the tennis coach, which was obviously MY tennis coach, so I was all “oh no way! 🤪” and accidentally overshared.
As usual.
Now, I know you're probably wondering about the actual date, which, honestly, is absolutely deserving of a full storytime in and of itself — but that was in September, and we're clearly not together, and trust me when I tell you, you're gonna be more concerned with the AFTER anyway.
Quick date recap for you first, though:
We played pickleball.
It was a good time.
Towards the end of our games, he asked if I wanted to go out to breakfast, which I thought was normal, considering we literally just played a sport the whole time, and didn't really talk.
Assuming he wanted to go to a coffee shop or something, I agreed.
As we're walking off the court, he invites me to his home instead.
My nosy ass has been wanting to see the inside of the apartment complex he lives in for years, so I agreed.
(That was my first mistake, obviously.)
Fast forward a little while, and we're in his apartment, which is arguably the nicest home I've ever seen a man occupy.
And don't ask me how we got there, but I somehow found myself inside his bedroom, in the most intimate moment ever…
Standing next to his keyboard while he sang Adele to me.
I can't even tell you what happened next. I blacked out. I was in survival mode. I was trying to be normal when my internal monologue was going “abort!!!!!! abort!!!!!” — but, miraculously, I recovered.
…until this man looked me dead in my sweaty face and said:
“Can I get a kiss?”
I'm sorry. CAN YOU GET A KISS?
No, Pickle, you can't, especially not after weirdly asking it like that in a totally normal, not-at-all-kiss-worthy moment, but I'm just a girl and I'm in your home and I feel awkward so I'm gonna do it anyway cuz you're nice and maybe you're hotter with my eyes closed or something and I hate that every girl reading this is going to be able to relate but here we are.
(This was my second mistake, obviously.)
Ugh. I'm shuddering just thinking about it. This man took off my hat — which I was using to hide my leftover crusted sweat and my rats nest hair — and kissed me with his chapped ass lips.
And in that moment I knew I neverrrr wanted to see the man again.
A few minutes later, I was saved by the bell - aka Grampy needing me to come back and pick up Woo.
Praise the good Lord above, I was saved. Free from the clutches of Pickle forever.
…or so I thought.
As I was leaving, he said “hey, we should watch Grey's Anatomy together later!”
(Homeboy was trying to “watch” it with me all morning - aka get me on his couch so he could keep kissing me with his chapped ass lips.)
(Context: he's a surgeon, so I had asked him how he feels about the show, because, in my experience, some doctors hate it but some low key love it. He loves it, which is a green flag, but unfortunately for Pickle, everything else about him was giving hard Orange.)
“Um, sure!” I said, yet again regretting opening my damn mouth.
Why the hell wasn't I just honest with the man? Why is it so uncomfortable to say no to someone's face? I'm not even an awkward person, and I don't really get embarrassed, but something about this situation was giving me ick overload and I had to use all of my survival skills to get the frick out of there.
So, a few hours later, when Pickle texted me that he had a good time, I was cordial.
Then, another hour passed, and he asked me if he could come over to watch Grey's. I said I was too busy.
Then, of course, bc MEN, he proceeded to ask me to hang out every single day for weeks, and never, ever caught the hint that I didn't want to.
And if you're wondering, well, Sara, why didn't you just TELL him you didn't want to?
I DID. I swear on my life, I did.
The man just can't fucking read.
After every attempt to nicely, respectfully curb the man — trying everything from the slow fade to the literal “thanks but no thanks, I'm not interested” — I finally had to straight up respond “no” to his last request to hang out.
I'm not even playing when I tell you it went like this:
Pickle: “Do you want to hang out on Sunday?”
Me: “No”
Like, BROTHERRRR. Let a bitch live.
After that, though, he finally did get the “hint” (aka my straightforward, very clear, couldn't-possibly-misinterpret denial).
Aaaaaand that was 3 months ago.
So, when my tennis coach, Ayman, brought up having to find out who he was (because I still wouldn't give up this man's identity, bc #icked) in my newsletter, I thought “you know what? great idea, I haven't told anyone about this yet” and added it to my content calendar.
I had originally planned on simply making the story about how Ayman asked me that, and how it's proof that even if someone is the most loyal fan you have on social media (that man loves to watch an IG story) they may still not be subscribed.
But, honestly, I'm too frazzled for that right now, because I'm preoccupied being in SHOCK about hearing from Pickle again last night.
I have (thankfully!) not heard from him in MONTHS, and at the very SECOND I sit down to write a whole ass newsletter about him, he sends me this:
No context. No text at all, actually.
Just a straight up audio file of him playing guitar and singing a cover of Taylor Swift's Lover.
I sat at my phone, dumbfounded.
And I won't lie, I kind of feel like an asshole for being so repulsed by it, because there are some girls out there who would LOVE this.
Hell, even *I* love a man who puts in effort like that. It's half the reason why it took me so long to finally say “no” to hanging out with him — 1% of me was like aw, cute, he loves me, maybe I should give him a chance.
But, unfortunately, “giving the guy a chance” has worked out ridiculously poorly for me in the past, and I can't afford to go through that right now, so, sry Pickle.
ANYWAYYYY…
That's where this story ends.
I don't think I'm gonna text Pickle back.
Like, what would I even say? What was he expecting me to say?
“This is a gorgeous rendition of that song, I love you, do you wanna come over and watch Grey's and live happily ever after???”
Be so for real.
Consider this my sincerest apology for going against all of my own advice about how to appropriately weave a story into a tip, but you understand, don't you?
I'll make it up to you by telling you my bestttt strategies for marketing newsletter. How does that sound? 🥳 😇
How To Market Your Newsletter
One of the most FAQ I get about email marketing is “how should I market my newsletter?” — and, just like I can't believe I've never told you the story about Pickle, I can't believe I've never answered this Q.
Today, we're gonna fix that.
There are a few ways I typically market my newsletter. But, before I share them with you, it's important to note a few things:
I've been working on growing my list for over 3 years
I have several other platforms / avenues that passively direct people to my email list (SEO-optimized website copy so people find me on Google, lead magnets that get promoted via Pinterest, blog posts with CTAs to join my list or download a freebie, etc)
Marketing my newsletter isn't always top priority, because I'm content with my list size and the way it consistently grows via the aforementioned ~other avenues~
/end disclaimer.
Now, let's move on.
(And, of course, I'm sharing a few ways to market your NEW newsletter as someone with a low subscriber count / no social media presence in a minute.)
Using today's newsletter as an example, which I marketed completely on Instagram, here's what I did:
#1 — Instagram story: screenshot of a friend's reaction when I sent today's story in our group chat
The strategy: induce curiosity by using an enticing medium like social proof (e.g. screenshots, photos, gifs, small descriptions of what the story will be about, etc)
#2 — Instagram story: photo of the first line of the newsletter
The strategy: give them a taste of what they're going to read, so they feel like they're getting the a sneak peek & they don't want to miss out
#3 — Instagram story: photo of me referencing the topic again, making it seem like I had some juicy gossip (bc I did)
The strategy: make them feel like they're getting the inside scoop behind your planning / drafting / scheming lol
& that's it! See the stories below 👇
Now, as promised…
OTHER WAYS TO MARKET YOUR NEWSLETTER:
Make sure you have optimized website copy so people find you online
Upload a partial version of the content (tip, story, whatever you're writing about) to your Instagram feed and promise the rest in your upcoming newsletter (so they'll have to subscribe for the rest)
Post your newsletter in Facebook groups and ask for feedback on it
Add a Subscribe page (like this one!) to your website and put it in your main menus (header, mobile, footer)
Respond to a favorite newsletter writer of yours, compliment them, then invite them to subscribe to yours
Add a CTA to subscribe to your newsletter at the end of every single blog post (OR link your lead magnet if it's relevant, or both!)
Write newsletters about share-worthy things so other people feel compelled to post about it / tell people about it / recommend it
Put a link to subscribe to your newsletter in the signature of your email
Do a newsletter swap with another creator (I've done a few of these & they're so fun!)
Guest blog on other people's websites and add a CTA to subscribe to your newsletter for more
Add a newsletter opt-in to the footer on your website (and don't you daaare let me catch you with a “join our list!” or “stay up to date!” - that's not a reason anyone cares to subscribe for)
& that's it — see? EASY 🤪
If we haven’t had the chance to *virtually* meet yet, hi! I’m Sara Noel—website copywriter and marketing mentor for creatives, copywriters, and all-around cool people. If you like my content and you want even more BTL in your life, here are a few ways you can connect with me:
Subscribe to my newsletter! I send one marketing tip, once a week - and, according to my subscribers, it's "the best marketing newsletter on the Internet" and "the only reason to wake up on Tuesday mornings." So... yeah. You'll love 'er. 😏 Click here to subscribe!
Check out my services. I write website copy, sales pages, email sequences, blog posts, and brand messaging guides for entrepreneurs of all kinds! Maybe you’re my next favorite client.
Read my blog. It’s home to everything from copywriting tips, to marketing education, to freelance advice, to portfolio-worthy projects… if you like this post, you’ll love the blog. Here’s a quick roundup of my most popular posts.
Sign up for my email marketing course. Learn how to grow your email list full of loyal, ready-to-buy readers with this self-paced course teaching you how to write the best lead magnets, opt-in copy, welcome sequences, and newsletters.
Enlist me as your mentor. I have an entire in-depth blog post about my one-on-one consulting process for new and aspiring copywriters, if you’re interested in having a big-sis-style mentor to help you grow your freelance copywriting business & get results.
To get in touch with me directly, send me a DM or email sara@betweenthelinescopy.com. Have a great day!