does a boy's height matter, and also what should I wear in Paris, and why is it still snowing?

sharing what I'm Debating, Inspired by, Arming myself with, Readying myself for, and Yearning for in this week's D.I.A.R.Y.

Apr 12, 2025

DEBATING — how much height matters in a romantic relationship

I have spent more time than I’m proud to admit on this here Internet this week considering how much height matters to me when I’m considering a romantic partner.

I’ve never dated anyone even close to my height, but at this current stage of life… the opportunity to do so is presenting itself.

And it’s attached to an attractive, tattoo-covered man who brings me Reese’s and genuinely wants to hear all of my ramblings, all the time.

See Exhibit A below: his response when I shared one of my old newsletters from the archive with him.

And because this truly is my diary, I have to say…

I’ve been thinking a lot about what really matters to me when I’m considering the possibility of letting a little crush transform into something bigger, and the conclusion I’ve come to is:

I want someone to KNOW me.

I want someone to GET me.

At the core of everything I am, and everything I do, and everything I believe.

The next partner I commit myself to will know me.

I have yet to, in my thirty-and-a-quarter years of life, find someone who truly, deeply understands me.

So, while there is no way on God’s green Earth I’m going to make such a dramatic claim about the boy I’ve had a crush on for three seconds and say that he does…

What if he… does? What if he could?

And do I give a fuck if he’s only two inches taller than me?

When I think of it that way: how the hell could I?

No man over 6 feet has ever wanted to listen to my musings this bad.

Maybe the air quality is worse up there and they get less oxygen to their brain and it makes them less interesting and less interested in culture (aka my stories).

Maybe I’ll live happily ever after with a short king.

I don’t know. I’m debating.

INSPIRED BY — the “real” Parisian woman’s fashion

As you may (or may not, if you’re new here, which in that case, HI!) know, I save my weekend mornings for reading random, beautiful, eye-opening, cute, funny, witty, thought-provoking Substacks.

(This one was a favorite this week, by the way!)

And as you may also know, I’m about to set off to Paris for a few days next week!

I’ve been thinking a lot about what to pack, because on this vacation, I don’t plan on engaging In any sort of doing it for the gram.

I don’t know if it’s because I only have a business Instagram account and no personal feed, and random Paris outfit content isn’t exactly on brand for me, or if it’s just because I really, genuinely am going for the sole purpose of exploring the city, eating pastry, looking at art, walking around, and buying a designer bag or two…

But I’m not planning my outfits in a feral Pinterest board panic like one might assume is appropriate for the first Paris trip of a girl’s adult life!

And, honestly, I’m pretty proud of that.

There’s a past Sara Joelle who would have shopped her booty off to find the perfect thing to wear, buying all new everything for this quick trip, using it as an excuse to overspend, so I’m proud that current Sara Joelle is not doing that.

But this article inspired me!

And it made me so much more excited for Paris than a “where to eat” TikTok ever could.

ARMING MYSELF WITH — the tools I need to live the life I want

Screen time limits. Waking up before my child does. Having food prepped and ready for all of my “I’m hungry, I have 3 seconds” moods (which are daily, at all meal times). Doing my GrowWithJo video every morning whether I feel like it or not, because I know I’ll feel great after. Scheduling blowouts and facials and brow apts for Future Me. Siri reminders up the literal asshole.

You know, just ADHD squirrely girlie things.

READYING MYSELF FOR — teaching my biggest workshop to date!

On April 17th, I’m teaching a free workshop called ✨ I’M COOL BUT MY ABOUT PAGE ISN’T ✨ to, if everyone who registered so far joins live, an audience of well over 500 people.

This is by far the biggest workshop I’ve ever created, and I’m hoping it becomes the best I’ve ever taught.

I absolutely love love love love teaching live, so I’m not nervous at all about the actual workshop itself, but I have SO MANY really creative ideas for it that I’m stressed I won’t get to properly execute them all!

(One of the ideas I’m most excited about is using my favorite movie and tv characters — absolutely iconic women like London Tipton, Raven Baxter, Paulette Buonafonté, Bree from Desperate Housewives, New York from Flavor of Love… lmao — to illustrate how to define what makes you unique & how to pull out what’s relevant about yourself to share with your audience.)

The workshop is all about how to define your own personal “cool” and then how to confidently, comfortably communicate that on your website’s About Page.

It’s for the girlies who hate writing about themselves, and it’s gonna be epic.

→ Details are here, if you’re curious!

Iconic women helping me teach my audience how to define their "cool"

YEARNING FOR — New England Summer

Because, right now, it is still very much New England Spring, which actually just means a bunch of gray days, with one sunny day to give you hope, then a fucking snowstorm on a Saturday morning in the middle of April.

I need a scorching hot Cape Cod beach, 12 uninterrupted hours, Elin Hilderbrand’s latest, a fat ice water, one best friend on either side of me, someone else playing with my child, and nowhere to be until September. Now.